Here are some things I've learned while living in India:
Sidewalks are not to be walked on. They are reserved for sleeping, setting up stalls to sell fruit and veg, or just sitting for a while. Pedestrians should walk in the narrow space between the traffic and the sidewalk.
As many people as possible WILL be crammed into a tempo, rickshaw, elevator, bus seat, or public bench. There is ALWAYS room for one more. Personal space is for sissies, anyway. Scoot over and get to know your neighbors.
If you're eating out, don't be surprised if the thing you ordered that "isn't spicy" is very, very, very spicy. To them, it isn't spicy at all.
If the rickshaw driver charges you an arm and a leg and then your destination turns out to be 50 yards away, don't feel bad. You aren't the first.
Crossing the street is remarkably similar to playing frogger. Don't bother waiting for the gap in traffic, there won't be one. Either don't look and just run, or find someone who lives here and follow them across.
Traffic lights, staying in your lane/side of the road, and turn signals are completely optional. Turn signals can also be replaced by sticking your arm out the window and pointing.
If the horn on your car doesn't work, don't even think of driving. It's as important and frequently used as the tires.
Motorcycles and scooters will fit into gaps in traffic you NEVER thought possible.
It is possible to fit four grown people on a bicycle, along with two kids and six bags of groceries, and still navigate traffic like it's nothing.
When they call the thing attached to your shower a "boiler", they mean it literally. Don't put it all the way on hot to make it warm up faster. It hurts.
When the man selling things says "sixteen", make double sure he isn't saying "sixty" before you agree to the price.
At 1 am sharp, the guards at our apartment building MUST blow their whistles loudly to each other across the courtyard for at least ten minutes. Why? No one knows.
"Widespread dust" is a weather condition as much as fog or rain.
It's not 'hot' until it reaches 45 C/113 F.
If you say "I don't speak Hindi" in Hindi, it is a guaranteed way to get them to speak Hindi to you at 100 mph and expect you to understand.
"Right of way" means nothing. Unless you are a cow. In that case, expect all traffic to halt until you mosey your way across the road.
